


Flaws

by SaxuallyActive



Series: Buyout Blues [10]
Category: Hockey RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: M/M, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 07:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3126995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaxuallyActive/pseuds/SaxuallyActive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claude's trip to Danny in Montreal gets heated--and their relationship develops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flaws

**Author's Note:**

> When all of your flaws and all of my flaws  
> Are laid out one by one  
> The wonderful part of the mess that we made  
> We pick ourselves undone

_February 11 th, afternoon._

I feel like I’ve been waiting on this bench for hours. I’m nervous and I just want to see him again. I pull my beanie down over my eyes more and play around with my phone for a bit. I scroll through my emails again, and my phone buzzes.

_Brendan G._

_“hey”_

I roll my eyes and go back to my emails. Five minutes later my phone buzzes again.

_“are you ignoring me?”_

Yes, Gally. Not now, okay? Just not now. Not today.

“Danny?”

I look up and Claude is standing there, his hat pulled down low and wearing his old Adirondack Phantoms hoodie.

“Oh.” I can’t say much. I’m tongue-tied. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” He’s obviously tired. Or hungover.

I let him follow me out of the airport and to the parking garage. He doesn’t speak much. He puts his suitcase in the back seat and rides shotgun. I get out of the garage and start driving to my condo. About half way there I stop at a light and look over at him. He’s fast asleep with the seat leaned back, his hair falling out of his hat and into his face. His mouth is opened slightly and I can hear his soft breathing.

The car behind me beeps and I look up. Green light.

We get to my condo and Claude wakes up as soon as I pull into the garage.

“How’re you doing, sleeping beauty?”

He tries holding back a laugh but he breaks into a smile.

“I’m great, actually.” He sits up and gets out of the car, making sure to grab his suitcase. I hurry myself inside and grab two beers from the fridge. I’m popping the tops off as Claude gets inside.

“You can take the bedroom that’s not mine and doesn’t have the bunk beds in it. It’s at the top of the stairs to the left.” I announce.

“Alcohol already?” Claude laughs. I hold out a beer and he puts his hand around the bottle, his fingers on mine.

“I figured I needed some confidence.”

“You’re not the fuck up.” He says softly, stepping towards me. He takes his beer and puts it on the kitchen counter. He carefully pulls my beanie off and drops it on the counter. I can feel my hair sticking up in places, which is probably why he’s smiling. He places one hand on my chest and uses his other hand to unzip my jacket.

“I want things to be right again.” He sighs.

“I know,” I reply. He helps me take my jacket off. I reach up and push his hood back and I take off his hat. He doesn’t smile. He just watches me. I put my fingers under the hem of his hoodie and he lifts his arms up. I pull it over his head and the fabric throws his hair around into a fury of unkempt curls. I smile and drop his hoodie before combing his hair down with my fingers.

“I missed you.” He says to me.

We fall into each other’s arms again. He’s warm and welcoming and safe. I feel safe with him. He smells great and it’s just _nice_ being in someone’s arms again.

“I missed you too, Clo.”

“You’re always on my mind.” He breathes. His breath warms my neck, and I can feel the condensation on my neck.

I smile. “You’re on my mind more.” I pull him tighter. I can hear his heart beat.

He lays his cheek in the crook of my neck. His skin is so soft. I bring a hand up and place it behind his head. I play with a curl between two fingers. Nothing else matters, not his mistakes not my mistakes—

Someone’s phone vibrates. It’s mine, it’s still in my jacket pocket. I drop my arms and Claude holds onto my waist. I grab my phone out of my pocket and check it.

_“i miss you and i just want to talk”_

“Who is that?” Claude asks.

“I don’t know,” I brush it off and go to put my phone down. Claude grabs my wrist.

“Gally?”

“We were roommates on the last trip and now he thinks we’re dating.” I try wiggling my wrist free, but Claude doesn’t really budge.

“What did you do to cause that?” Claude asks once more, releasing my wrist after I tug once more.

“Nothing, he came onto me—“

“I figured this would’ve happened.” He rubs his temples. “I knew that as soon as I let my guard up you’d go find someone else.”

“Clo, that’s not what happened—“

“Then what happened? Huh? Does he have a Daddy kink?”

“Clo, please just listen—“

“No!” The room is silent. “Don’t you toy with me. Don’t _you toy_ with my emotions or my love or me in general. I’m not your’s to fuck up anymore, Danny.  I’m a fucking person and I want to be treated like that if this will work.”

“What ‘s going to work?”

“Us, Danny.” He laughs, but it’s his angry/sarcastic laugh. He sits on a bar stool and throws his curls back. “Us. What ever happened to us?”

“Management issues.” I say softly.

He laughs again. “You’re missing the point.”

“What point?” I inquire.

“The point is that if we’re going to fucking _stay_ together that you need to change and stop talking to idiotic little fuck boys like Gally.”

“Clo—“

“Stop fucking interrupting me! I just want to be treated like you actually like me and you keep stepping in and fucking covering your ass. Just listen. _Just fucking listen!_ ” He brings his fist down on the counter. He’s breathing heavily. “Danny I really like you and I want to stay together with you—“

_“We were never fucking together, Claude!”_

He looks up at me, his face broken into bits.

“Oh, fuck.” I mouth. He doesn’t look at me.

“Why am I here, then? So you can break up with me in your house?” His voice croaks. I defeated him.

“No, Claude. I’m sorry.” I step towards him. He pushes my jacket towards me and it pushes his beer off the counter and onto my stomach. The bottle crashes to the floor, sending beer and glass all over my legs. I look up, and Claude is gone.

 _“You’re a fucking child!”_ I scream. I put my hands to my temples. I stare at the mess on the floor and crouch down to pick up the pieces of glass. Thankfully, there’s only a few small pieces and many bigger ones. I throw the glass away and grab a hand towel and some floor cleaner.

I’m trying not to think so much, but my mind is racing as I mop up the beer with my towel.

How did we go so wrong?

~~~~

Hurt is an understatement.

We were never together. Yeah. Says the man who kissed me in the rain only a few months ago. Yeah. Says the man who’s been on my mind every single day.

I’m in one of the three bedrooms. I’m guessing this is where Danny’s oldest son stays whenever he’s over. There’s a few hockey posters, including one of Danny from when he was in Buffalo.  I stare at the ceiling and fall into the bed.

I invested so much of me into him and he repays me like this. I just want things to go back to normal. Something’s not right with him. Something else is going on. I’m not sure if it’s Gally or if it’s something— _or someone—_ else.  I’m not sure if this is denial or what, but this isn’t over. We can’t be over.

I roll onto my side and sigh.

I’m such an idiot. I preach for him to treat me like I’m a person, then I do that to him. I’m always so impulsive and stupid. I regret so much from this past six months, and I need to change myself. I can’t keep doing this.

Were we not together? Were we just “talking” for those years?

“Hey.”

I sit up and Danny’s standing in the doorway in a clean pair of shorts, and he’s wringing a t-shirt in his hands. His faces reads “anxious” and “desperate”. He does that thing where he sucks in his lower lip and flicks his tongue out over his lip.

“What.” I groan.

“Do you want dinner?”

“Not really.”

He sighs loudly and steps into the room. He casts his shirt over the foot of the bed and sits by me. He stares at the floor.

“I’m sorry, Clo.”

“Then why did you say it?”

“I was frustrated.”

I look at his face. He’s truly upset, his eyes are tired. I try meeting his gaze but his eyes keep diverting from me.

“Alright.” He relaxes a little bit. I sit up all the way and sit with my legs crossed. I put my right hand on his back and I move my fingers in a circle. I put my cheek on his left shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Danny.”

“No, I’m sorry.” His shoulders drop. “I fucked up this time.”

“It’s okay. Okay?” I close my eyes and lean into him more.  My left hand crawls to his left thigh, and he lays his left hand on my hand. We’re silent, just relaxing in the moment. He leans his head into mine. I feel him kiss my hair and I can’t help but smile.

“Are we together, Danny?”

I feel him freeze.

“I don’t know.”

“Okay.” I nudge him slightly. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t think I’m living up to my own expectations, the team chemistry isn’t there.” Danny sighs. “It’s frustrating. There’s so much potential but…I don’t know. Am I over-thinking?”

I laugh and lift my head up. I feel his fingers slip in between mine.

“Probably.”

“Okay.”

“Relax, Danny. You’re going to die of a heart attack if you don’t.”

“I’m just concerned—“

I nuzzle at his neck and he bursts into a giggle fit. He falls backwards and I fall onto his chest, and we just lay there for a moment. He wraps his arms around me, and I close my eyes. His heart is thumping deep inside his chest. Hearing his heartbeat is refreshing.

“Are you relaxed, Danny?”

“Oui.”

“Then let’s have dinner.”

~~~

I made Claude some pasta and tossed it together with some veggies and spices. I serve it to him while he’s on the couch, but I run back to the kitchen once more. When I return to the living room, the setting sun is casting an orange light across the room.

“Okay, Clo.” I say softly, handing him another beer. “Don’t fucking break this one.”

“I promise I won’t.” He flashes me his charming grin. I simply smile back and head into the kitchen. My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s only Mr. Perpetual Happiness himself again.

_“hey, im having a rough time can you call or text me?”_

I bite my lip as Claude laughs at the TV.

_“What’s going on?”_

I grab a bowl for myself and I scoop pasta into the bowl. I keep watching Claude from the kitchen. He’s scarfing down the pasta and he chases it with a swig of beer.

_“okay now you reply. Hahaha(:”_

_“Gally what’s going on?”_

I put my phone on the counter and open the fridge. I’m running low on beer. I grab one and pop the top off just as my phone lights up. I rush to grab it, and it barely makes any noise.

“Danny, what spices are in this?”

“Uh…” I look at my phone.

_“im thinking about you a lot and i was wondering if we could maybe hang out tonight?”_

“Garlic, sea salt, some other shit? It’s from an _Italian Seasonings_ container.”

 _“I have a guest over for break, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”_ I quickly reply.

“Oh, fancy.” Claude announces. “Can I come grab more?”

“Of course.” I reply, stuffing some pasta in my mouth.

_“oh who is it?”_

“Who are you texting now, Mr. Popular?” Claude asks as he comes up behind me and squeezes my hips.

“Just an email notification.” I lie. I lock my phone before he can protest.

“Come eat in the living room with me. I don’t bite, Danny.”

“I’ll be there in a moment, Clo.”

He shrugs and takes more pasta. He plops down on the couch and continues eating.

_“Claude is here.”_

I take a swig of beer.

_“oh”_

_“so are you two dating again”_

I put my phone on silent and go into the living room with Claude. I sit beside him and he finishes his second bowl of pasta. I place my beer on the table and start eating my pasta.

“It was good shit, Danny.”

“Thanks, Clo.”

He puts his bowl down just as I continue eating my pasta.

“Psst. Danny.”

“Mmm, what Clo?”

“Eat faster.”

“Why? I want to enjoy myself.” I say softly. But I begin to eat a little faster.

I finish dinner and he turns on Netflix. I get us the last two beers from the fridge and sit on the couch beside him as he starts a movie. I lay my head on his shoulder as the opening title sequence appears.

“So how’s Philly?” I ask.

“It’s fine.” Claude replies. “It’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but I’m doing okay.” He pauses. “I’m sorry for all the bullshit that’s been going on. Between us, mostly.”

“It happens,” I begin. “Distance happens and that’s okay. Let’s not let our flaws be our undoing.”

“I’m afraid I let that happen a bit too much.” Claude admits.

“What do you mean?”

“I passed out on the floor a few days ago and my neighbour had to make sure I wasn’t dead.”

“Clo…”

He shakes his head. “Whenever I’m not with you, I doubt everything. I’m depressed. I drink. Things are incomplete and things just aren’t right.” He takes a drink of his beer. “But when I’m with you, I feel sure about my life, nothing is in limbo. Everything is stable and everything is fine. It’s okay.”

“So is the distance killing us?” I ask.

“It feels like it.” Claude puts an arm around my shoulders and squeezes me. We sit there in silence and watch the movie. I finish my beer about a half hour in, and so does Claude.

I drift off to sleep on the couch, his arms around me. I wake up around eleven PM. The TV screen is dimmed, and my X Box turns itself off after a minute. Claude had pulled me closer during our sleep—my head is now on his chest, his arms around me. I move a little, and his arms tighten around me.

“Clo?”

“Mmmnf?” He stirs as I sit up a little. “Go back to sleep, Danny.”

“I’m going upstairs, the couch isn’t comfy.”

“Then I’ll come.”

I nearly fall off the couch, and Claude stands up after me. He wanders into the kitchen as I walk towards the stairs.

“What are you doing?”

“You want a shot?”

“Clo—uh—why?”

I hear the clank of two shot glasses, and I hear him grabbing a bottle of vodka from my liquor cabinet. I walk into the kitchen, and he’s poured me a shot.

“C’mon.”

“Fine.”

I step towards him and take one of the shot glasses between my fingers.

“One, two, three.”

We down the alcohol and Claude tosses his head back, laughing as he does so. He puts the shot glass down upside down, and I follow suit. Claude flips both glasses over and fills them again. I shake my head at him and he laughs at me.

“One, two, three.”

I put my glass down first, and Claude stares me down as though I just challenged him. He pours more and I shake my head again.

“Let’s go to bed, Clo.”

“Last one.”

“Fine.”

_“One, two, three.”_

A little more alcohol later, he’s pulling me upstairs and my face is hot. He leads me into my bedroom, and he takes off his jeans.

“No, no, no,” I say. “leave those on!”

“I’m not sleeping in _jeans_ , shithead.”

I shrug, and he sits on my bed. I take off my jeans and pull on a pair of shorts that are sitting on my floor. I crawl into my bed and he snuggles beside me. He kisses my forehead and pulls me into his arms.

“Danny Jean-Claude Briere.”

“Oui?”

He grabs my face and kisses my lips. He’s sloppy, warm, and reeks of alcohol. I’m not sure what to do with my hands, so I grab at his shirt. He keeps kissing me, I keep kissing him back. And eventually, his kisses slow and he combs through my hair. His motions become slower and slower until he falls asleep beside me.

His hair is displaced and hanging over his eyes. His scruff on his chin is starting to become unruly. I kiss his nose. He stirs only a little, but he rests once more.

My head is foggy. I’m done thinking for tonight.

~~~

_February 12 th, morning_

The sunlight shines into his bedroom. My head hurts only a little bit. I smell pancakes and coffee.

I roll out of his bed and stumble to the other bedroom and get a pair of sweatpants out of my suitcase. It’s incredibly cold in his house.

“Hey, old man, turn the heat up.” I say as I enter his kitchen.

“Nah, you’re here. I don’t have to.” You smooth son of a bitch.

I grin and he slides a plate of pancakes and coffee towards me. I sit down on a stool and dig in. He finishes two more pancakes and he joins me.

“How many shots did we do last night?” I ask between bites.

“You did more than me.”

“What a great numerical value, you’re stellar.”

He grins at me and keeps eating his food. His pancakes are and always will be perfect. I’m not sure what pancake witchery he possesses—but they’re sweet and fluffy and just perfect. I pour pure maple syrup over them and they’re the pancakes every Canadian wishes they had.

After breakfast, I let my food sit and Danny invites me into another room that he’s devoted to working out. I hit the treadmill and he lifts for a bit.

“I vote no more beer.” Danny says when he goes for a water break. “It’s far too fattening.”

“Uh, huh. Okay, Mr. Fatty.”

“It’s true though.”

“So only hard liquor?” I ask. He laughs in response and moves to some leg exercises as I finish my run. I’m sweating hard. My legs burn. I chug some Gatorade and get to lifting.

After our mini workout, I shower and get ready for our day ahead. Danny wants to take me exploring through the city. I don't protest.

As we’re heading out the door, he suggests a million places for us to visit. Wherever we go, it doesn’t matter. I finally feel _good_. I’m not aching for alcohol or my bed anymore. I was aching for _him_. And I have him back. He filled the hole in my soul. I’m on top of the world, and he’s with me.


End file.
